3 Ridiculously Simple Exercise To Exercise Better Self Control.

Angry ManAs I sat back in my chair, I was gasping for breath.

My heart pounded against my rib-cage, wanting to burst open.

I felt my face radiating heat, as a piece of metal does when it has been kept in flame for a while.

My vision was blurred and my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

I was confused. I wanted to cry , I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to be quiet and say nothing yet at the same time I wanted to get back for being spoken to like that.

 

Have you ever felt the need to let it all out and hold nothing back?

As a very close friend of mine very nicely put it. “There are assholes everywhere; you just have to realize which one is worth dealing with”.

No matter how good your day has been or how charged up you feel, there will always be that one douche bag that will manage to get under your skin.

The truth is you cannot escape people who want to hold you back, one step you climb on the ladder, there will be 10 people to pull you down. There is nothing that you can do about it or can you?

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.

Why Should I Care How I React?

Reaction MattersCommon sense dictates that if someone is trying to get under your skin you give it back to them because if you don’t, they are not going to stop. I agree with this line of thinking, however reacting with anger works against you.
How do you react when you unknowingly touch a hotplate?
You immediately take your hand off, you don’t think about it, you don’t have time to think about it. You just do.
 Unfortunately that wonderful mechanism that ensures minimal damage to your hand also gets activated it shouldn’t.
I can recollect so many instances when I’ve said some mean things that I later regretted.
But once the damage is done it takes a lot of time and patience to repair.

Reaction means you are not controlling the situation,the situation is in control of you.

What do you think the outcome is going to be when you are not in control?
 
Reacting to a situation with anger not only make the situation worse, it also has several immediate and long term consequence on your body.
You come across as an immature,  emotionally weak person who lacks self control and is always hyper, waiting to pick a fight.
You don’t have to be a Zen Master or a Saint.
There will be always be people who will keep getting under your skin and you will have to confront them.
When you do, let not anger drive you.

Self Control is not about controlling how we feel, it’s about being in control of how we express our feelings.

It’s natural to lose control and lash out, happens to the best of us.

3 Ridiculously Simple Exercise To Exercise Better Self Control.

1.Being Mindful:

Let us be honest, we tend to get irritated very easily when we are hungry (or is it just me? let me know in the comments section).

“Dude you are really hungry now, be careful or you are going to screw up again”.

This is what I tell myself each time my girlfriend makes me wait for lunch.It does not work 7 times out of 10 but I am really thankful for the 3 times that it does.

Mindfulness in it’s truest essence mean to be aware of your present emotional state.By being mindful of my mental state I become conscious of what I say what I am saying.

The more I practice it the better I become at handling my outbursts.

2.Mediate:

MeditationMeditation does not mean sitting under a tree for hours in the hopes of achieving self-enlightenment. You can benefit by meditating for  as little as 2 minutes.

I usually meditate for 5 minutes every day as part of my morning ritual.

When things get a little stressful at work I do at 2 min meditation and feel better instantly.

There are a lot of benefits of meditation, one of which is that it improves your ability to work under stress.

Meditation=>Stress=>Reaction. See the connection?

3.Be Happy, Smile Often

Smiling BabyI smile back every time someone smiles at me,instantly, even to complete strangers.

It is amazing the power a simple gesture holds.

Simple act of smiling releases endorphins which are natural pain and stress fighters.

I think that smiling does the exact opposite of being angry. Smiling calms me down I instantly feel better.

When I feel better, I feel calm & in control.

I respond to situations rather than reacting to them.

 I hope you’ve actually made it till here and enjoyed reading the post.

It might look to simple but believe me, it works. I’ve tried it, benefited from it and I hope you do to.

 

3 Things Every First Time Manager Should Know

The Angry ManagerHave you’ve been recently promoted and are now responsible for leading and managing a team, meeting deadlines and achieving set targets ?

Are you eager to show (to your bosses and your peers) that you are going to be successful young manager?

Young ManagerI was about 23 years old, when I was first given the responsibility of leading a team of help-desk technicians. It was not a managerial role but more of a supervisory role.

I recall thinking that it was unfair to be held responsible for the daily productivity of my team members and that my individual performance had little weight-age in my monthly performance assessment.

If being a supervisor was this hard I knew for certain that I did not want to be a manager because it meant being assessed on more parameters that were out of my control or at least that is what I thought.

The reason I used the term successful young manager is because the corporate landscape has changed quite a bit from the 50’s and the 60’s even the 90’s.  The average age of first time supervisors is 30 years old.


 

Three Things I Wish I Knew As A Manager.

Top Performance – By Zig Ziglar

I recently read Top Performance by Zig Ziglar and I really wished if I had only read this book earlier.

I highly recommend this book if you are not an individual contributor and your job involves supervising or managing people. In fact the the first chapter is going to be immensely helpful for you to build a meaningful  and healthy relationship.

I urge you to use them as principles and not tactics

 

 

 

1.Getting Things Done

As a manager it’s your job to facilitate getting things done, not doing them yourself. I often made this mistake of trying to get everything done to ensure things were done on time and without errors.

This took much of my time and I was not able to dedicate enough time on things that I should have been focusing on instead.

Meddling too much or trying to do everything yourself could also build your image as someone who is very nosy and a micro-manager and does not trust anyone but himself to get the job done right and on time.

2. Communication is a 2 way street

Effective Communication is a 2 way streetAs a manager, communication does not mean just passing orders from the top or telling people what to do. Listening to your team’s concerns, grievances and suggestions and passing them up the order is important as well.

This will help build trust between you and your team member while at the same time, bringing the concerns and suggestions in front of your bosses will help you come across as a manager who is well invested in the working & well being of his team.

Also remember that body language is just as important. Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it that matters.

3. Expectations & Goal Setting:

Building on the previous point, you have to be very clear on what is your expectation from a given task is and leave no room for ambiguity.

Give clear and specific instructions about what you want and by when do you want it.

One thing that I’ve really found effective and wish I used more often was also including why I wanted it. If my manager would ask me to do something and explain why, I would be more willing to do it, won’t you?

Zig has also covered creating 3 different levels of evaluation and described them in great detail. This is something that is going to come really handy when evaluating performance something which most managers hate and something that can work to set yourself apart from the rest of the crowd.

Remember, as a manager it is your job to help them do their jobs effectively.