3 Ridiculously Simple Exercise To Exercise Better Self Control.

Angry ManAs I sat back in my chair, I was gasping for breath.

My heart pounded against my rib-cage, wanting to burst open.

I felt my face radiating heat, as a piece of metal does when it has been kept in flame for a while.

My vision was blurred and my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

I was confused. I wanted to cry , I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to be quiet and say nothing yet at the same time I wanted to get back for being spoken to like that.

 

Have you ever felt the need to let it all out and hold nothing back?

As a very close friend of mine very nicely put it. “There are assholes everywhere; you just have to realize which one is worth dealing with”.

No matter how good your day has been or how charged up you feel, there will always be that one douche bag that will manage to get under your skin.

The truth is you cannot escape people who want to hold you back, one step you climb on the ladder, there will be 10 people to pull you down. There is nothing that you can do about it or can you?

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.

Why Should I Care How I React?

Reaction MattersCommon sense dictates that if someone is trying to get under your skin you give it back to them because if you don’t, they are not going to stop. I agree with this line of thinking, however reacting with anger works against you.
How do you react when you unknowingly touch a hotplate?
You immediately take your hand off, you don’t think about it, you don’t have time to think about it. You just do.
 Unfortunately that wonderful mechanism that ensures minimal damage to your hand also gets activated it shouldn’t.
I can recollect so many instances when I’ve said some mean things that I later regretted.
But once the damage is done it takes a lot of time and patience to repair.

Reaction means you are not controlling the situation,the situation is in control of you.

What do you think the outcome is going to be when you are not in control?
 
Reacting to a situation with anger not only make the situation worse, it also has several immediate and long term consequence on your body.
You come across as an immature,  emotionally weak person who lacks self control and is always hyper, waiting to pick a fight.
You don’t have to be a Zen Master or a Saint.
There will be always be people who will keep getting under your skin and you will have to confront them.
When you do, let not anger drive you.

Self Control is not about controlling how we feel, it’s about being in control of how we express our feelings.

It’s natural to lose control and lash out, happens to the best of us.

3 Ridiculously Simple Exercise To Exercise Better Self Control.

1.Being Mindful:

Let us be honest, we tend to get irritated very easily when we are hungry (or is it just me? let me know in the comments section).

“Dude you are really hungry now, be careful or you are going to screw up again”.

This is what I tell myself each time my girlfriend makes me wait for lunch.It does not work 7 times out of 10 but I am really thankful for the 3 times that it does.

Mindfulness in it’s truest essence mean to be aware of your present emotional state.By being mindful of my mental state I become conscious of what I say what I am saying.

The more I practice it the better I become at handling my outbursts.

2.Mediate:

MeditationMeditation does not mean sitting under a tree for hours in the hopes of achieving self-enlightenment. You can benefit by meditating for  as little as 2 minutes.

I usually meditate for 5 minutes every day as part of my morning ritual.

When things get a little stressful at work I do at 2 min meditation and feel better instantly.

There are a lot of benefits of meditation, one of which is that it improves your ability to work under stress.

Meditation=>Stress=>Reaction. See the connection?

3.Be Happy, Smile Often

Smiling BabyI smile back every time someone smiles at me,instantly, even to complete strangers.

It is amazing the power a simple gesture holds.

Simple act of smiling releases endorphins which are natural pain and stress fighters.

I think that smiling does the exact opposite of being angry. Smiling calms me down I instantly feel better.

When I feel better, I feel calm & in control.

I respond to situations rather than reacting to them.

 I hope you’ve actually made it till here and enjoyed reading the post.

It might look to simple but believe me, it works. I’ve tried it, benefited from it and I hope you do to.

 

18 thoughts on “3 Ridiculously Simple Exercise To Exercise Better Self Control.”

  1. Great article, this is. 🙂 I agree it is all about all reaction (or response) to situations instead of placing blame or giving power to the other person for causing us pain. We are always in control of how we choose to deal with differnet situations. Really like your 3 ridiculously simple tips – they are simple, but powerful! Thanks for sharing!

  2. I love your solutions to better self control. I used to practice meditation and mindfullness everyday and for a long time. I noticed during this period that I was never angry at anything. I was able to let things go so easily and be present in the moment. I always felt in control of my emotions. I definitely know firsthand that meditation is very effective at self control. Thanks!

    1. Hey Philip,

      Thanks for the visit. Being mindful improves with practice and it definitely helps you to better handle your emotions than lashing out.

  3. Great post and just what I needed to read today.

    I like the emphasis on responding instead of reacting and I love the coping tools you give. Smiling is one of those things that everyone takes for granted, but I’ve read studies where smiling for 20 minutes actually led to changes in brain chemistry.

    Thanks for sharing!

  4. Hey,

    I really enjoyed reading this post.

    Mindfulness is a concept I’m coming across more frequently. We live in an era where people are living lives where they are too stressed out.

    Your post is encouraging because it help people realise that happiness should be a pursuit worth pursuing more than any other.

    Look forward to reading more.

  5. Hey Josh

    Great article, thank you. I think you are so right here. It is about not letting a situation control you and just reacting.
    I love what you said about being happy and smiling.
    I used to let things (external things and people that don’t matter) bother me a lot. I now remind myself every day that these things don’t matter at all, water off a ducks back. I tell myself not to let anything bother me and to be happy and stay in the present moment.
    When I constantly remind myself of these things I can honestly say I don’t notice all those stupid things that used to bother me.

  6. What a great post! It is so hard to be calm, cool and collected every moment of the day. Personally, I have had to train myself in the art of self-control, and typically I meditated on Bible verses to help me do that. My only suggestion for this post is to use the same font throughout. It was a little difficult to read this post with all the different fonts, and truly it hurt my eyes a little bit. Otherwise you have some great content here, well done!

    1. Hey Rachel,

      Thank you for the visit and feedback. I try to keep the site minimalist and interesting at the same time so I will keep your feedback in mind for my next post.

      Self control takes time and practice and does not come instantly. There are times that I still loose my cool as well but I often hear comments like, “You’ve really calmed down a lot” but I know that I still have a long way to go.

      Thanks for the visit and I hope you keep visiting 🙂

  7. Hey Josh!
    Nice article you got here. A lot of people want to be successful in life, but they do not know how to tackle it. Articles like these will help such people know how to tackle their problems in situations where they find themselves.
    It’s really important to smile no matter the circumstances as there is a saying “take time to laugh and smile, for it is the music of the soul”. Looking forward to your coming articles.
    Cheers Ramirez

    1. Hey Ramirez,

      Thank you for visiting my site. How we react to circumstances is more important than what are current circumstances are. I post every Monday’s, looking forward for your visits :0

  8. Hi Tim,
    I really liked this article, I can relate so well to what you are saying here. I dealt for a long time in my life with anger and rage when I was younger and really had to come to a realization in my life that I was responsible for myself and my actions and I can choose to have self-control. So years later I am so much more in control of what type of energy I put out into the world. So thank you for this article.

  9. Hi Josh I really enjoyed your article. One thing my mother taught me was before opening your mouth to respond to something count to ten. I find that to this day that definitely helps. Counting to me was like taking a deep breath and clearing my mind so my responses were much more controlled thus avoiding saying something which I would later regret.
    I like your suggestion about smiling. I find when I smile it does tend to make me feel better and if a person smiles at me it also helps. Thanks for the great advice!

    1. Hi Maureen,

      Thanks for visiting my site and I am glad you enjoyed reading the article 🙂

      Counting till 10 and taking deep breath is actually a great way to channeling your emotions rather than just blurting it out and yes smiling does work wonders and the change is instantaneous isn’t it? 🙂

  10. Hi Josh, I really enjoyed your website. Self control is something we all could use a little more of, some could use a lot more! I used to have great self control, but it seems the older I get the less I can find of my control. I think stopping to meditate is a super idea, it also takes your mind off all of the things around you. I return smiles also, it makes me feel good, especially if I can smile first! Did you take a class on this or is this something you researched to help yourself? Great job 🙂
    With Kind Regards,
    Linda

    1. Hey Linda,

      I am really glad that you enjoyed reading f my website and I hope you keep visiting. I feel smile is very powerful as it not only has a positive impact on others but also on yourself. I write from my personal experiences and things that work for me and I also research to fine tune my content and also to provide deeper insights for my readers 🙂

  11. I like this article, and I like your energy 🙂 I like the thought that we are attracting what we feel inside, or that reality is like a mirror to our souls…
    Going forward with that thinking, I hope you keep smiling! 🙂 Maybe you’ll be the person walking down the street beaming smiles at everybody next time 😀

    1. Hey Tim,
      Thanks for dropping by and for your comment. While I am not there yet, yes I do smile a lot more than I did earlier (just like your comment about reality being a mirror to your soul made me smile) 🙂

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